It came around 12:15 on a Monday afternoon. The Slack message read:
“Hi Randy! We haven’t met, but I’m XXX with HR. Are you available to meet on Zoom in about 10-15 minutes with me and XXX (i.e., my boss)?”
It’s one of those moments where you instantly. just. know. Your stomach drops, your heart starts to race, and your gut confirms it. You’re losing your job in 10 minutes.
If you’ve been there, you know the feeling. If you haven’t, I don’t wish it on you, but now consider yourself forewarned should you ever receive a Slack message like that.
In the greater scheme of things, it’s not the worst news you could receive. But it hits you pretty hard in the moment. You’re never quite ready for it, although I’m increasingly convinced that everyone should at least be marginally prepared for it. No one should ever feel completely “safe” in a job; hence the need to keep your resume up to date and your eyes always slightly aware of other opportunities.
In the immediate aftermath of getting that Slack message, short of saying “No, sorry, not available in 10 minutes…” and trying to dodge the inevitable, how do you respond? Of course, I promptly said “Yes, I can be available.” But what I did for the next ten minutes made a pretty big difference in how I managed the coming call. Should you ever find yourself in a similarly undesirable situation, may I recommend these steps:
1. Immediately stop whatever you’re working on to regroup. That project or assignment really doesn’t matter at the moment and you can always finish it later.
2. Quickly prepare for an unexpected Zoom meeting. If you’re not “meeting ready,” get set up and do whatever you need to do to go on camera and look your best. You don’t want to appear as unready and disheveled and disrupted as you feel inside.
3. Take a few minutes for some deep breathing, or whatever practice works for you when you need to chill, fast. For me, I needed to slow down my racing heart and relieve that sinking feeling in my gut. Deep breathing can help regain some physical control in the moment.
4. Remind yourself what I said earlier: this is not the worst news you could receive. Compared to everyday tragedies, from weather catastrophes to mass shootings to the war in Ukraine and the unthinkable trauma of being a refugee or being homeless, this is pretty low-key bad news. Really try to put it in perspective in the moment, if you can. Not to downplay the seriousness of it, but you will be just fine. Your professional life is going to take an unexpected left turn. It’s easy to jump to financial concerns, but don’t go there yet. Be thankful for what you have and realize that this is not the end of the world. Don’t give “them” (the company, the boss) the “power.” You are in control – and you got this.
The call itself was awkward, of course. HR lady was very congenial. Boss looked haggard. She was doing nine or ten of these today, so I can’t imagine how she was feeling, but I can guess, based on her demeanor and delivery. It was not comfortable news for her to deliver or a fun position for her to be in. I actually found myself feeling slightly bad for her during the call and wondering if she could possibly be feeling worse than me in the moment. Until I remembered that at the end of the day, when she was having a cocktail with her husband/partner/colleague/friend/or whoever, telling them what an awful day it was, she still had her job. And she was responsible for a major departmental reorg and a key player in some decision making that resulted in a major career and life disruption for nine or ten great people. So my bad feelings for her in the uncomfortable role as the bearer of bad news didn’t last too long.
After delivering the news and answering one or two questions from me, boss jumped off quickly. Congenial HR lady stayed on for a few more minutes to hash out all the details re: my severance, next steps, etc. “And just like that,” to quote SJP (or at least, in two more weeks), I would be unemployed, unexpectedly forced into the job market (thankfully a strong one, at the moment), examining my life and my next professional steps.
Amazing how quickly things can change with one Slack message.
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